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Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

  • Currently
    Maybe I'm Dreaming
    By Owl City
    Rainbow Veins
    see related

    The Appeal of Age Anonymity.

    Chances are most of you are unaware that my 16th birthday is in only SIX days. I guess I'd say I'm excited, but after a while, age stopped being so important to me.I remember that when I was younger I always felt that once I reached a certain age I'd feel so old. I bet that when I was 10 I thought people who were 16 were practically adults. Yet I know I won't feel any older on May 25th.  Honestly, I don't really care about my age anymore and I think the Internet is the main reason why.I'm really into online socializing, if you couldn't tell already. And although most people who get to know me eventually find out I'm still in high school, at first no one really knows how old [or young I should say] I am. I like that. Why? Because in "real life" I don't get that luxury. I mean it's not like I go around wearing a sign that says "I'm 15" everywhere, but if you look at me, you can tell I'm in high school, if not younger. Online, however, people just "see" me as just another person with valid opinions, not as just another naive teenager.Let me give you an example...My BBFF Cool Dad/Eric and Cool Mum/Laura [sorry, still not used to it, haha] used to have Cool Chats. They'd have an open chat room on their blog and anyone who wanted to chat could chat, which I did and very much enjoyed. Of course, I was always the youngest --a high school sophomore in the midst of 20/30-somethings. Luckily, I wasn't really discriminated for it. Most people didn't know how old I was until I told them and after I did tell them, they didn't care because it really didn't make much of a difference. Now I don't know about you, but it's hard for me to picture [in "real" life] a 15-year-old walking up to a group of people  twice his/her age and be able to join in the conversation like it was no big deal.  I prefer having conversations with older people and age anonymity facilitates this.That, my friends, is the magic online socializing and probably one of the main reasons I'm so drawn to it.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

  • Currently
    The Great Divorce
    By C. S. Lewis
    see related

    I can’t even pretend to be cool.

    So…I need help.
    I’ve been told I’m pretty articulate when it comes to writing. But the problem is that when you ask me to talk I am the biggest mess ever. I’m usually not that bad with people I talk to [as in SPEAK to]  regularly just because I’ve grown to be comfortable with it. Once people are used to me being all weird and saying stupid things, I become less nervous, and actually say less stupid things. Funny how that works.

    The main obstacle is phone conversations with people I don’t talk to. I’m not very eloquent with new people either way, but something about phones makes it even worse. I guess in person I can use gestures…I like gestures. I practically talk with my hands. Not being able to use gestures just takes me out of my comfort zone and I go nuts. There are also those certain people who I find myself trying to impress [certain friends, bands, etc.], which just REALLY makes me a mess. I want to seem like a “cool person” but I usually come off as a dork.

    Hm. Perhaps the solution to this problem of mine is just being honest instead of trying to be cool.

Thursday, 16 April 2009

  • Currently
    Maybe I'm Dreaming
    By Owl City
    The Saltwater Room
    see related
    Yeah...most people who know me pretty well will know that I am the biggest worry wart that has ever lived. I tend to stress myself out about EVERY LITTLE THING. And if I don't have anything to really worry about, I will find something. Ever since I was a small child I've been like this. Honestly, I don't know how it feels to not worry about anything, because I've never experienced it. And I know that most don't have a carefree life, but I am probably further from it than a lot of people. I really do try to fix this problem of mine and sometimes it gets better. However, I probably won't know how it is to be worry-free until Heaven.I don't really know where it came from. Some would say I'm really not trusting God enough, which I think is true for the majority of people. We like to hold on to our lives and control them. But I completely understand that God knows what is best for me. And I know that whatever happens with me, it will all work out. The thing that I'm scared/worried about is how I'll be able to deal with it. I'm worried about going through the emotional pain and getting used to situations I don't like at first.Of course that deeper stuff is mostly about a certain thing that's going on with me, and that's just the MAIN worry. I have little worries that are less of a big deal, yet I still go crazy over them. School, for example. I have a personal fitness class this semester and it's not fun. Lots of running. I hate running. And we have physical tests [running, pushups, pullups, etc.] at the end of the year which count for half of my final. Now me being a worry wart has resulted in me being a perfectionist when it comes to school. I like to get straight A's. I like to have a 4.0 GPA. I'm terrified that personal fitness will ruin it. I can't do even 1/8th of a pullup. The most I can do is hang there. The fastest mile-run time I've ever gotten is one minute more than the time I'll have to get this year to pass. And there's not B-D. I either get an A or an F. So I've been thinking I'm going to need to start training...lucky for me, my mom's a personal trainer and runs half-marathons for fun. I just hope it's even possible for me to improve that much. There's also another school situation that I have to work out, but I'm worrying about it a month before I really need to. Oh the things I put myself through.I know it seems stupid to go crazy over this stuff, but if you need something to pray for, pray that I will find peace and not be so paranoid. And ask God to help me as I train and to give me muscular strength and endurance. Hehe. Oh, and you can pray for the more serious situation too, I'd definitely appreciate it (:

Saturday, 11 April 2009

  • Currently
    Out of the Silent Planet (Space Trilogy, Book One)
    By C.S. Lewis
    see related

    We are the least alone when we're alone.

    “For as it was well said of the great Africanus that he was never less alone than when alone, so, in our philosophy, no parts of this universal frame are less to be called solitarie than those which the vulgar esteem most solitarie, since the withdrawing of men and beasts signifieth but the greater frequency of more excellent creatures.”

    - C.S. Lewis, “Out of the Silent Planet”

    I know that might seem confusing to some of you.  It was to me when I first read it. Now, I’m not going to explain the rest of the book to you — I suggest you read it yourself! A lot of good things in there. This quote being one of them. Let’s start off with a story, though.

    6th grade. First day of middle school. Since 2nd grade, I’ve always been in the “Gifted” program, and in elementary it didn’t mean much. Just an extra class in the afternoon, regular class the rest of the day. But in middle school it meant that I had no classes with my elementary school friends. I had special Gifted classes with people I didn’t know. I was alone. I remember that first day so well. I came home and immediately started crying, hugging my mom, and complaining that I had no friends. Perhaps that’s when I first gave in to conformity. I was willing to do ANYTHING just so that I didn’t have to be alone. As you could probably tell, that didn’t turn out so well. I strayed away from God, did some things I wasn’t proud of, and disappointed a lot of people. I’m only beginning to understand how dangerous it was for me to hate being alone. It’s not like I should have been an anti-social freak that doesn’t talk to anyone, but I should have realized that I don’t NEED people in order to feel satisfied.

    This year, I learned to love being alone. My schedule was weird, so I don’t have lunch with any of my friends. I was sort of bummed at first, but it really gave me an opportunity to get closer to God by reading my Bible everyday during lunch. I didn’t think I would love being alone, yet I do. And today I realized why it feels so good.

    As I said, that quote up there confused me at first. Then I read it, and put in my own words. This is what I came up with: When you are alone you are actually the least alone because separating yourself from men and animals brings you to the presence of higher beings.  I thought that was a bit weird until I thought about my personal experiences. When I am completely alone somewhere, I forget about other people and just feel totally surrounded by God. And when I feel like that, I don’t feel alone at all. I actually feel the LEAST alone.

    I hope that all of you remember that. Don’t be afraid of being by yourself.  Being alone doesn’t make you lonely. If your mind is in the right place, being alone will cause the opposite effect. So I challenge you guys to have “alone time”. Separate yourself from people for some amount of time and read your Bible, pray to God, sing to God, or do a combination of the three. Just completely immerse yourself in His presence. Trust me, it feels incredible.

    “A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
    Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
    Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
    In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied.”
    - Phil Wickham, “Divine Romance”

RaquelTWG

  • Visit RaquelTWG's Revelife Site
    • Name: RaquelTWG
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 3/13/2009

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About Me

  • PLEASE VISIT http://raqueltheweathergirl.wordpress.com I'm Raquel. I love Jesus. I am the new music write for Revelife! I like coffee. I enjoy the Internet. Music is a huge part of my life. I'm into theology and studying the Bible. I enjoy Apple products but am too poor to afford any. Social networking takes up a lot of my time. I'm willing to talk to most people, so feel free to talk to me! (:

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