Yeah...most people who know me pretty well will know that I am the biggest worry wart that has ever lived. I tend to stress myself out about EVERY LITTLE THING. And if I don't have anything to really worry about, I will find something. Ever since I was a small child I've been like this. Honestly, I don't know how it feels to not worry about anything, because I've never experienced it. And I know that most don't have a carefree life, but I am probably further from it than a lot of people. I really do try to fix this problem of mine and sometimes it gets better. However, I probably won't know how it is to be worry-free until Heaven.I don't really know where it came from. Some would say I'm really not trusting God enough, which I think is true for the majority of people. We like to hold on to our lives and control them. But I completely understand that God knows what is best for me. And I know that whatever happens with me, it will all work out. The thing that I'm scared/worried about is how I'll be able to deal with it. I'm worried about going through the emotional pain and getting used to situations I don't like at first.Of course that deeper stuff is mostly about
a certain thing that's going on with me, and that's just the MAIN worry. I have little worries that are less of a big deal, yet I still go crazy over them. School, for example. I have a personal fitness class this semester and it's not fun. Lots of running. I hate running. And we have physical tests [running, pushups, pullups, etc.] at the end of the year which count for half of my final. Now me being a worry wart has resulted in me being a perfectionist when it comes to school. I like to get straight A's. I like to have a 4.0 GPA. I'm terrified that personal fitness will ruin it. I can't do even 1/8th of a pullup. The most I can do is hang there. The fastest mile-run time I've ever gotten is one minute more than the time I'll have to get this year to pass. And there's not B-D. I either get an A or an F. So I've been thinking I'm going to need to start training...lucky for me, my mom's a personal trainer and runs half-marathons for fun. I just hope it's even possible for me to improve that much. There's also another school situation that I have to work out, but I'm worrying about it a month before I really need to. Oh the things I put myself through.I know it seems stupid to go crazy over this stuff, but if you need something to pray for, pray that I will find peace and not be so paranoid. And ask God to help me as I train and to give me muscular strength and endurance. Hehe. Oh, and you can pray for the more serious situation too, I'd definitely appreciate it (:
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